Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Does our need for similarity decline as we age?

Hi everyone, Since the lecture on attraction I have been reading over people' comments on their blogs regarding being attracted to people who are similar to you as opposed to people who are different. I was looking around and couldn't find any literature stating whether this finding differed depending on age. I wanted to find this as I was thinking my partner and I tend to be very similar in so many aspects of our life, such as eductation level, ses, morals, values, family,friends....even things like cooking and cleaning habits. I was thinking though, perhaps we are so similar because we started seeing each other so early on in our lives and so were experiencing so many new things like living out of home at the same time. In contrast a collegue at work who is much older than me said that when she separated from her husband she found it very difficult to find anyone with hardly any similarities to her. She said she was at a stage in her life where she was set in her ways and unwilling to have to change her lifestyle to suit someone else. Her current partner and herself seem to be completely opposite in so many ways yet she says they are so similar in their home life that the other differences works in their favour. I was wondering if the areas of similarity that we seek change depending on our age. Just something to think about....What areas do you think you look for similarity in? and what areas do you appreciate differences in?....
Rach

3 comments:

Kara said...

Hey Rachel, great questions. I was thinking about your collegue and how her and her partner had created a lifestyle that suited them well. Its kind of like you create your own culture in your relationships with people (even friends and family). Its like a mixture of them and you. Something unique for every person and their relationship. I wonder if there is combinations of 'cultures' that just don't work? Hmm you've got me thinking, except its annoying when there is no conclusive answers... just theories! Haha!

Bec said...

Hi Rach,
Just in regard to your comment on my page about the bystander effect, I think your brother's experience of the bystander effect is significant.

From researching the bystander effect I have learnt that people often do not feel they have the knowledge to help. Therefore it was very lucky that your brother was there. I think if I was him I would have been very frustrated that basically no one else was assiting me.

I think it would be easy to think that the other bystanders just wanted to watch out of curiously and so later they would have a story to tell their friends. No one seemed to want to step up and help out.

If the others had helped out, at least one could be attending to the drivers in the car, one to the injured rider and one to the passenger. This would have made things alot easier for your brother.

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